Why blog?.....

I never really thought of myself as a blogger.  I always wondered why people blogged. I didn't understand why anyone would post their personal thoughts on-line for anyone to see. Aaaa! That seems scary, and I am definitely not a thrill seeker! I was completely fine with journaling and having no one else read it. I also thought of bloggers as literature-lovers, bookworms, and just plain talented with words (many of you are, by the way). And with that in mind, joining the blog-world, in order to put my voice and my experiences out there, seemed a bit intimidating. I also realize that many people blog simply to keep their family and friends up to date on their family on-goings. I hope to strike a balance between these two kinds of blogs.    

My perspective of blogs in general has changed drastically over the last several months. I have gleaned comfort, hope, a sense of belonging, and a renewed faith in what the blogging world has to offer. After we lost Amelia, I found myself searching for people who experienced the same heart-ache and devestation that we had when she was stillborn. I was looking for someone else to put into words how I was feeling. I wanted to know that my feelings and thoughts were similar to those of someone who had walked the same path as I had. After I found a couple of blogs I would continue jumping to more and more. I wanted to read more than their story. I wanted to read that healing did indeed happen, and that sorrow and joy could coincide in their heart. I knew that the sorrow would never completely disappear, but I wanted to have hope that I could feel joy as deeply as I felt grief.
The thing I loved most about the blog world is that I could anonymously jump from blog to blog and even pick and choose what posts I read. I wanted to read about someone who didn't have a "perfect life", someone who was honest about what was going on in their life - the good, the bad, and all that was in between. I wanted to read about their doubt, and their fears as well as their blessings and their hopes. There is nothing more encouraging to me as someone who is clinging to their faith, going through a struggle, and courageous enough to be honest about it and blog about it. I don't know exactly what this blog will end up being, but right now it will be a place for me to document our life as a family, and also a place for me to share how God has healed my heart in the face of losing our precious daughter, and the journey along the way.