August 3rd... sweet Archer's story... part 1.

I slept for the first couple of hours of this day, in my own bed after supper out with my hubby. The rest of it was an emotional roller coaster, ending with a sweet baby boy nursing in my arms, with a quiet hummm of hospital sounds.

I woke up at about 2:20 am and as I frequently did, I had to go to the bathroom, but before I ventured out of bed, I waited to feel little one... a move, a kick, something... nothing.  This had happened before with him, and usually I would talk myself into "everything's okay" you are just being a worry-wart, and eventually I would feel him, or at least have enough peace about it that I would be able to go back to sleep.  I don't know if it was my escalating hormones, or the fact that I was having braxton-hicks so frequently, or maybe it was just my memories of Amelia.  I was beside myself. I have a doppler, but it was not a comfort as I didn't know if I was finding his heartbeat or mine. I knew that mine was fast, and his (if it was his) seemed slower than normal.  Possibly because he was being squeezed by constant contractions.  Paul was awake already, and knew something was bothering me.  I will admit I cry at odd times (I am a woman) and because he is the most perceptive male I have ever met, he knew this was different.  To be honest, I think we were both ready for this little one to be here, and both of our nerves were shot (a few months ago, actually).  He said, "let's go in".  I didn't hesitate, and with boys in tow, cute as bugs in a rug, asking from the backseat "why aren't we sleeping?" we were off.

Okay - back up ten minutes...  This is not only Archer's story, not only the story of our rainbow baby, but it is God's story too.  I had a moment when you just know it's God, because it could ONLY be God.

I would like to say that God knows.  He knows, He always knows.  Before I officially woke up Paul (he was already awake wondering why I wasn't getting back into bed), my phone buzzed - a text message. Seriously? At 2:31 am, at the exact moment I was up and crying and worried sick in the middle of the night, I get a text message from my big sister who lives two states away. This is what it said,
     --------------     "Praying for you:-) and your boys".       -------------------
I know God knows me, I know He knows my story, my every need before I know it, but sometimes He shows me He knows it.  I love it when He does that. I love how He knows each one of us.  When we doubt He does, and when we wonder if He is even real, He knows... and loves us anyway. 

I guess this is the end of part 1, because I haven't figured out how to nurse Archer without using atleast one of my hands, nor do I have the patience to type with only one hand.

To be continued...