I have been thinking about cords a lot lately. Not the kind you play on a piano or a guitar, and not the kind that you tie around your waist when you wear a choir robe... But the kind that connects you to your mother before you are born. The blood-pumping, life-sustaining, belly-button causing kind.
Shortly after Amelia died, we found out more information about umbilical cords than we knew existed about them. Some are short, some are long, some have three vessels, some only two, some are twisted, (like an old school telephone cord) some are fragile, some are thin, and some are thick and hardy. Some get knotted, some get stretched, some get wrapped around not just one, but many parts of the baby's body, while others may even snap under pressure. Amelia's was a little short, and it was inserted on the edge of the placenta instead of in the middle - not ideal. My placenta was also a little low - also not ideal. Both of these factors likely contributed to some compression at some point while I was sleeping. Thus causing a shortage of oxygen, and ultimately her death. This is all educated speculation after talking with several health professionals, one having studied stillbirths for over 25 years.
I am 24 weeks pregnant, with baby number 4. We are very excited, but we are also anxious. I will wake up and not feel anything, and wonder --- did it happen again? Then I feel a flutter, and then a roll and I am reassured that everything is okay, for now.
I have wondered... hoped... wished... asked begged God... that we'd be able to see this cord on the ultrasound, and that it would be the right length, in the right spot, and would be the life sustaining vessel for however long it needed to be in order for us to bring this new little miracle home.
As of last friday's ultrasound, I have thanked God and praised him for the appearance of a strong cord, attached in the middle of a placenta that was up high. I know that I have no guarantees of bringing this little one home, but I have hope... again. Not without worry, but also not without prayer.
Amelia's sweet tummy, and her cord.
If you have any prayers or comments of hope - I would appreciate them.
Thanks for stopping by.
Wow, over half way...:) I have tears of joy for you right now... I completely understand your worries and concerns. God knows the future of this precious little one... I know you know that... and I know that doesn't always make things any easier.
ReplyDeleteHe will carry you and this precious little one He continues to knit together in your womb. He has given you grace for each day and will continue. I pray that you can rest in HIM, His promises, His love for you and the miracle you are carrying:)
I am praying Sherri... praying in earnest for His protection to be on you each day... lots of His peace too:)
I love the picture of Amelia and her precious tummy:) Adorable... praying for you heart.
With love in HIM<><
Sara
Wow, Sherri, congrats! I didn't know you were pregnant and already 24 weeks! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just breaks for you and the thoughts you must be having every moment of this pregnancy. I'll pray that the Lord give you a beautiful, healthy baby and peace in your heart and mind.
Lots of love and a big ehug sent your way. :-)
Jill
To Jill - Thanks for the prayers and hug :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe we can make it to the zoo or something this summer! It would be nice to get together.
Sherri
I will keep believeing for everything I sent you in that prayer... OH God, Your mighty arms!! Thank you for being everywhere i can't right now! Be with me sister, sustain her, help her, comfort her Mighty God, sweet spirit...thank you Jesus:)
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you, Sherri. Your Amelia is very close to our hearts and our prayers. All good things are from the Father who loves us. It is right to find hope and rejoice in Amelia's life and in you fourth baby's life. We miss you and will keep you all in our prayers. God be with you until we meet again.
ReplyDeleteLove, Jill
Sherri, you have such a sincere heart and sweet spirit, and I am encouraged by your ever-growing faith in the midst of many questions, doubts, and fears...ALL of which are completely understandable. You are most definitely in the hands of the One who can handle every single one, and can cover you with incredible peace and comfort, which is what I pray for you now and will continue to pray throughout your pregnancy. Thinking of you and thanking God for you often!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Stacy
Sherri,
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for peace for you on Mother's Day and as you approach the anniversary of losing Amelia tomorrow. Keep resting in His grace and you will find the strength you need! Love you!
Jane